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I Read All The Baby Sleep Books

I went on Amazon and bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice.

I went on Amazon and bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice.

You shouldn’t sleep train at all, before a year, before 6 months, or before 4 months, but if you wait too late, your baby will never be able to sleep without you. College-aged children never need to be nursed, rocked, helped to sleep, so don’t worry about any bad habits. Nursing, rocking, singing, swaddling, etc. to sleep are all bad habits and should be stopped immediately. White noise will help them fall asleep. White noise, heartbeart sounds, etc., don’t work. Naps should only be taken in the bed, never in a swing, carseat, stroller, or when worn. Letting them sleep in the carseat or swing will damage their skulls. If your baby has trouble falling asleep in the bed, put them in a swing, carseat, stroller, or wear them.

Put the baby in a nursery, bed in your room, in your bed. Co-sleeping is the best way to get sleep, except that it can kill your baby, so never ever do it. If your baby doesn’t die, you will need to bedshare until college.

Use the same cues as night: cut lights, keep the house quiet and still. Differentiate naps from nightly sleep by leaving the lights on and making a regular amount of noise. Keep the room warm, but not too warm. Swaddle the baby tightly, but not too tightly. Put them on their back to sleep, but don’t let them be on their backs too long or they will be developmentally delayed. Give them a pacifier to reduce SIDS. Be careful about pacifiers because they can cause nursing problems and stop your baby from sleeping soundly. If your baby sleeps too soundly, they’ll die of SIDS.

Don’t let your baby sleep too long, except when they’ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. Never wake a sleeping baby. Any baby problem can be solved by putting them to bed earlier, even if they are waking up too early. If your baby wakes up too early, put them to bed later or cut out a nap. Don’t let them nap after 5 pm. Sleep begets sleep, so try to get your child to sleep as much as possible. Put the baby to bed awake but drowsy. Don’t wake the baby if it fell asleep while nursing.

You should start a routine and keep track of everything. Not just when they sleep and how long, but how long it has been between sleep, how many naps they’ve had per day, and what you were doing before they slept. Have a set time per day that you put them to bed. Don’t watch the clock. Put them on a schedule. Scheduling will make your life impossible because they will constantly be thrown off of it and you will become a prisoner in your home.

Using CIO will make them think they’ve been abandoned and will be eaten by a lion shortly. It also causes brain damage. Not getting enough sleep will cause behavior and mental problems, so be sure to put them to sleep by any means necessary, especially CIO, which is the most effective form. Extinction CIO is cruel beyond belief and the only thing that truly works because parents are a distraction. The Sleep Lady Shuffle and Ferber method are really CIO in disguise or Controlled Crying and so much better than Extinction. All three of these will prevent your child from ever bonding with you in a healthy way. Bedsharing and gentler forms of settling will cause your child to become too dependent on you.

Topping the baby off before bed will help prevent night wakings. When babies wake at night, it isn’t because they are hungry. If the baby wants to nurse to sleep, press on the baby’s chin to close its mouth. Don’t stop the baby from nursing when asleep because that doesn’t cause a bad habit. Be wary of night feeds. If you respond too quickly with food or comfort, your baby is manipulating you. Babies can’t manipulate. Babies older than six months can manipulate.

Sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean when the baby cleans. Don’t worry. Stress causes your baby stress and a stressed baby won’t sleep.

hahaha! did you guys see this? This is exactly why I prefer talking to other parents and not just reading the advice from the experts. It’s so confusing, all this contradictory information until you are pretty sure that ANYTHING you do is going to give them life long problems. 

    • #baby
    • #parenting
    • #sleep
  • 21 hours ago
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transition time, any ideas?

Ari is outgrowing his bassinet, he’s getting too long plus he is starting to roll so it’s not going to be a safe place to sleep for very much longer. So I am trying to get him used to his crib in a gentle, slow, kind way. I am doing this by moving his day naps to his crib first, and staying with him while he goes to sleep. I am also trying to keep the sleep conditions in his room as close as possible to our room. For example we are doing the identical goodnight routine, (swaddle & and rocking him in my arms and singing ‘baby beluga’ before putting him down) we are using the same swaddle, making sure his white noise machine is on, and luckily the blinds and curtains are the same and the room is right next to ours so the lighting is exactly the same.

Still, Ari is not a fan of this plan. He cried a lot harder than usual and took more than twice as long to fall asleep. 

I just spent 25 minutes hunched over the bars of his crib so I could pat, hush, and cuddle him as he fell asleep. He cried a lot. Even though I was right there literally cheek to cheek with him.

This morning, even that didn’t work, so I feed him until he fell asleep and then put him into the crib.  

man. tough work. I would like any suggestions you have for those of you who have made the transition from bassinet/co sleeper to crib. and feeding him to fall asleep is risky business because it sometimes isn’t good for his tummy, so I would rather not do this every time. (He was a really colicky baby, and sometimes still is.)

FWI we don’t co sleep in the same bed, we tried it for weeks, and nobody was sleeping! Ari couldn’t sleep, Luke couldn’t sleep, and I sure as heck was not sleeping! So this transition is from room sharing in the bassinet to his own room with the crib. 

also my plan was to wait until he was comfortable with his day naps before trying his night sleeps in his crib as was suggested in a baby book I like. But he has always been way better at sleeping at night than in the day, so maybe I should be doing it the other way around. 

ps he is 3 months, 4 days. 

    • #baby
    • #sleep
  • 21 hours ago
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  • 1 day ago
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don’t judge the mother of a drama queen

is your baby a very expressive crier? mine is. 

every time I put him in the pram, he hits the roof and screams, I mean SCREAMS! for a few minutes and then he just suddenly stops, relaxes, and starts smiling or day dreaming and is totally chill again. Ditto for getting into the front pack, getting out of the bath, when he is hungry, when he is tired but doesn’t want to sleep, when he’s got gas, when there is sun in his eyes, etc etc etc

basically whenever there is the slightest problem or discomfort, he immediately goes into level ten crying. Often there is no warning, just la de da life is fab, and then BAM! bloody murder.

I know my kid, and I am confident that this just means he is expressive and assertive. He also laughs and smiles just as much as he cries, (except on grumpy days, which we all have) so I know everything is okay.  I have also learned some tricks to help him through the bad moods or discomforts.

Obvs I feed him/burp him/get the sun out of his eyes/get him to bed on time/ or do whatever I can to prevent discomfort. Other times when he is just really ‘expressing’ his dislike of a situation (crying his head off) I rock and shush in his ear to calm him, and tell him “I hear you, I know you don’t like it, I’m helping you.”

But there are some situations I can’t change, or I know we have to ride out a little because there is a benefit. Like seeing the dr, drying off with a towel, a nappy change he doesn’t like (he usually likes them, but sometimes NOT), or rides in the pram/ getting into the front pack to go somewhere.  

 I have learned through experience that if I take him out of the pram when he is doing his initial protest, and try and calm him, and then put him back into the pram again, it starts the cycle of crying all over again. it’s better just to wait it out until he can just ‘say’ what he needs to and express himself. And I promise you, he loves the pram after he gets into the groove, he looks up at the leaves on the trees, watches the people, listens to the birds, and then gets rocked to sleep. it is very zen. So it’s worth it. and baby, sometimes mama has GOT to leave the house. 

BUT I know that when people see me walking down the street with my 3 month old in the pram screaming, they think “why doesn’t she help that poor baby? why is she just leaving him to cry?”  But I know I am not, he’ll be okay. He just needs to talk about it. and I am listening. trust me, I AM LISTENING. (everyone on the block in listening).

So be understanding of the mother whose child is crying. Don’t think she is exercising some evil from of CIO. It might be a personality thing. She might be really in tune with him and just appear to be unresponsive. Mothers with chilled out laid back kids might not understand that a screaming baby might actually be okay. 

And my power stance regarding Ari is that there are no such thing as bad or good babies. As in, “Your baby is so *good*, she’s been quiet and asleep the whole time.” Babies cry, some more than others, and mine just happens to be the ‘more than others’ kind. Plus I think it is a sign of intelligence that he is switched on to what is happening around him and expresses his opinion about it. 

But you better believe I need to remind myself of this every damn time we go out in the pram. 

    • #baby
    • #parenting
    • #CIO
    • #cry it out
  • 2 days ago
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circusbones:

Always reblog.

yes! I relate to her a little too much!
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circusbones:

Always reblog.

yes! I relate to her a little too much!
Zoom Info
circusbones:

Always reblog.

yes! I relate to her a little too much!
Zoom Info
circusbones:

Always reblog.

yes! I relate to her a little too much!
Zoom Info

circusbones:

Always reblog.

yes! I relate to her a little too much!

(via nicholaiplusone)

Source: accio-pirates

  • 3 days ago > goldenstories
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wellthoughtout:

Facts.
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wellthoughtout:

Facts.

(via naturalmomma)

Source: cinematicordinary

  • 3 days ago > cinematicordinary
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a mother’s love

I have a fb friend, someone I used to know why back when, who lost her 5 month old baby a year ago today. Today she posted pictures in his memory… soft dough checks, dark brown eyes, olive skin, wispy brown hair, I can’t help but think of Ari. 

And the scariest thing is, he was a very healthy kid. Nothing was wrong with him, all he had was a flu-y cold. But then his fever started to climb, and since she has 3 other kids at home, she was waiting for her husband to get home before going to the hospital. I would have done the same thing probably.

How was she to know the fever would spike so drastically? That he would start seizing? that his brain would be so oxygen deprived that it would die, and then a few short days later he too would die?

The hospital where she lives has a special service. A professional photographer will take portraits of your dead or dying child, free of charge. They have all of these heart breaking photos of him, body still alive because of tubes and machines, in his mothers arms. She is weeping but still looking directly into the camera with an all knowing look. Like she knows the deepest depths of pain and knows she can bare it. Because she has to. She has 3 other children at home. 

I kiss my own son’s soft dough cheeks today and I pray for her. 

    • #parenting
  • 4 days ago
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I am so glad I live in the digital age so I can take hundreds of photos of my kid without worrying about it. Remember film cameras when you had 24 pictures and each one was a gamble? 
These were taken on week 11 &12. 
Zoom Info
I am so glad I live in the digital age so I can take hundreds of photos of my kid without worrying about it. Remember film cameras when you had 24 pictures and each one was a gamble? 
These were taken on week 11 &12. 
Zoom Info
I am so glad I live in the digital age so I can take hundreds of photos of my kid without worrying about it. Remember film cameras when you had 24 pictures and each one was a gamble? 
These were taken on week 11 &12. 
Zoom Info

I am so glad I live in the digital age so I can take hundreds of photos of my kid without worrying about it. Remember film cameras when you had 24 pictures and each one was a gamble? 

These were taken on week 11 &12. 

    • #baby
  • 4 days ago
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this sweet face. 
After a very long week, I just have to look at your soft smile and know it’s worth it. even though I am oh so very tired. tired to bone. to the marrow of the bone.
My new favourite things to do with you:
Kiss the soft dough of your arms
tickle your belly
change the lyrics of every song to include your name
talk in stoopid voices that you find hilarious
cuddle you
watch your legs kick and splash in the water at bath time
lie next to you for rollie-pollie time on the floor
feed you 
take you out on walks in your pram and watch your little eyes as you gaze up in wonder at the trees. 


it’s good to be your mama, my 3 month old bud-bud. 
Pop-upView Separately

this sweet face. 

After a very long week, I just have to look at your soft smile and know it’s worth it. even though I am oh so very tired. tired to bone. to the marrow of the bone.

My new favourite things to do with you:

Kiss the soft dough of your arms

tickle your belly

change the lyrics of every song to include your name

talk in stoopid voices that you find hilarious

cuddle you

watch your legs kick and splash in the water at bath time

lie next to you for rollie-pollie time on the floor

feed you 

take you out on walks in your pram and watch your little eyes as you gaze up in wonder at the trees. 

it’s good to be your mama, my 3 month old bud-bud. 

    • #baby
    • #3 months
    • #parenting
  • 4 days ago
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3 months old today!
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3 months old today!

    • #3 months
    • #baby
  • 4 days ago
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babypeapod

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HI, I'm an American expat living in Berlin, Germany. I've worked with children privately and in learning centers for over 10 years, in the USA, New Zealand, and Berlin. I love kids but it took my husband and I a while (9 years!) before we were ready to have our own. Too much of the big wide world to see and explore first! We got pregnant in may 2012, and after a really tough pregnancy with hyperemsis, baby Ari was born on Feb 18, naturally at my neighbourhood birth center here in Berlin. Oh the joy! Lilypie First Birthday tickers

 

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